Carla Jean Whitley | Ink-stained Life

I got hung up on the “Blog Like Crazy” challenge when I hit the prompt “Why Do You Love Being a Woman?” Javacia Harris Bowser, founder of See Jane Write and creator of this challenge, wrote, “That’s a simple question, but one that most likely has a complicated answer. So let’s write a blog post about it. Special thanks to Evette Dionne for this idea. Check out her post on a similar question: http://evettedionne.com/2012/11/15/appreciatewomanhood.”

A few weeks ago, my buddy Alex and I left the office for one of our regular trips to my favorite coffee shop when the differences between men and women came up in conversation. I don’t remember what prompted that, but Alex and I quickly agreed that men and women are different, are naturally inclined to be strong in different areas than one another (although there are certainly exceptions) and we think that’s OK.

In the year-plus that I’ve regularly practiced yoga, I’ve been amazed to discover my own strength. Men tend to be better built for physical strength, but I’ve built up my capacity through an awful lot of chatarungas, down dogs and crows. As I’ve done so, I’ve been reminded of my emotional and mental strength.

At the same time, I embrace many “traditional female roles.” I happen to enjoy cooking very much. My boyfriend rarely cooks. I love bringing food over to his house because I enjoy preparing it, and I enjoy sharing it. Though there was a time when I was cautioned against that, I’ve embraced being who I am, and cooking for others is part of that.

I love that being a woman doesn’t mean one specific thing or another. I love that I was born into a country where women have the right to vote. I love that I’m in a country where women have the same rights as men. I love that women are each unique. I love that I have the freedom to be me.

I live one mile from the hospital where I was born, but nearly 500 miles from the city where I was raised. My parents, siblings and I moved to Jacksonville, Fla., in 1988, leaving behind the city where my parents grew up. When we got to Florida and didn’t have a palm tree in our yard, I was certain it meant we should turn around and head back to Alabama.

It took 15 years, but I returned to Alabama in 2003. And in the nearly decade since, I’ve found that my family history is still all over this city. I’ve had Vulcan Park and Museum on the mind a lot lately, and whenever I think of that most visible landmark, I think of my namesake. When my Pepaw, Carl Eugene Vann, died, the family asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to either Vulcan or TEARS Animal Rescue. (Pepaw would love my cat Mac, and I’m sure she would be obsessed with him as well. He always had a way with animals.)

When Birmingham magazine ran its annual cutest pet contest last summer, one of the staff favorites was a litter of kittens from a momma cat who was rescued at South Highland Presbyterian Church. It wasn’t a surprise when I realized the owner of those cats knew my Uncle Joe, who was there the night momma was found.

One of my best buddies at work is a fellow animal lover who has known my Aunt Laura for about as long as I’ve been alive. Joey and Veronica Kennedy have long ties to Birmingham magazine and my family, and I feel like they’ve become extended family. (They’re also particularly adept at adopting people.)

This summer, a friend of the Kennedys and mine realized that my Pepaw’s brother, who we call Uncle Andy, is her Papaw’s best friend. When she asked her Papaw if he knew Andy’s brother Carl, his response was, “You mean Sorghum?” If he knew my Pepaw’s nickname, then I’m betting he knew Pepaw fairly well.

Although I haven’t yet lured my parents or siblings back to Birmingham, this city is where the roots of my family tree are concentrated. I can’t put my finger on what makes Birmingham my home, but perhaps it’s just that my DNA is tied up in this town.

This #bloglikecrazy topic was to write about family. With the holidays upon us, it’s often on our minds, and I’m glad I got to see my parents and brother over Thanksgiving. Today’s subject line is from the Sandra McCracken song “Family Name.” 

I’m still gradually playing along with #bloglikecrazy, a daily blogging effort from Javacia of the Writeous Babe Project and local women’s writing group See Jane Write. The prompts Javacia offered were intended for November, but I started late and have been quick to take a day (or more!) off from writing when I’ve needed breathing room or the extra space in my schedule. The next prompt is “bloggers night out,” which asks me to write about an event happening in my town.

And there’s the challenge. Even in a month more overrun with holiday parties than anything, there’s tons happening in the ‘ham. Every Thursday around 9 a.m., I go on Birmingham Mountain Radio to share the weekend’s agenda with listeners. And nearly every week, I remind listeners that if they’re bored, they’re not paying attention.

One of the holiday parties I’m invited to this weekend is that of Hops 4 Honeys, a women’s beer club. I tell people that it’s a bit like a book club, except the discussion revolves around beer. And the women who are part of this club are an awful lot of fun and great conversationalists. (Learn more by emailing hops4honeys@gmail.com or requesting to join the group on Facebook.)

I’m also excited about next weekend, when Jeffrey Bützer and T.T. Mahony perform Vince Guraldi’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas” at Bottletree. I finally bought the soundtrack to this Christmas classic earlier this month, and it has been such a soothing soundtrack to my trips around town. Tickets are $10, and if you stick around after the show, you can join in the Friday On My Mind dance party.

I’m also craving a trip to an Alabama Symphony Orchestra performance. Prior to this year, I had only attended ASO special events, whether those were its Symphony at 7 series (designed to attract younger listeners who aren’t regular symphony goers) or partnerships with groups such as Black Jacket Symphony. But this fall I attended the symphony’s performance of Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 5, and I fell in love with the music. Classical music is one of those things I enjoy when I encounter it, but it has never been something I’ve been well versed in. I’m eager to learn more, and the remainder of this month offers a few options: “Handel’s Messiah” this weekend, and “New Year’s Eve: A Viennese Celebration” on Dec. 31. And of course, 2013 is packed with options.

Those are a few upcoming events that are exciting me. What’s on your calendar?

Today’s title comes from Joe Purdy’s “Come Back Down.” 

I’ve been participating in #bloglikecrazy at my own pace. I didn’t begin this challenge to blog every day in November until halfway through that month, and though I’ve blogged most days since I began, I haven’t worried about taking a few off here and there.

The next prompt is to set four simple goals for the rest of the year. (The prompt was intended to be addressed on Nov. 14, so there would have been a little more time left in the year. Oh well.) I always find December challenging, so perhaps this is perfect timing.

First, I want to remain present this month. December is so crazy, with deadlines at work made more difficult by sources becoming hard to get in touch with during the holidays, with Christmas parties, with expectations for the season. Since I’ve been in journalism, I’ve dreaded this time of year. But I’m in better spirits so far this month, and I’m aiming to remain present in the day to day rather than wishing my way into January.

I also want to stay calm. The aforementioned deadlines have stressed me out in the past. Because so many people take the week between Christmas and New Year’s off, the deadline for our February issue is usually the year’s most challenging. I’ve tried to plan this year with that in mind, while also warning new staff members that this is how things to tend to go. I’m preparing the best I can while aiming to accept the rest.

I want to (need to!) stop shopping. I finished my Christmas shopping weeks ago, and the gifts are wrapped and under the tree at my house and my parents’ house in Florida. But all of the sales, the promotions, the holiday craft bazaars can be tempting, and often result in me buying more gifts–or buying for myself. I’ve got plenty, and I know my friends and family aren’t concerned with me spending more money on them.

Finally, I want to prepare for a quieter 2013. One of my weaknesses is overextending myself, and I’m already taking steps away from that for next year. But even as I turn down one commitment, it’s tempting for me to replace it with another. I’d like to spend the remainder of this month remembering how valuable “me time” is, and continue to prioritize that in the future.